Members Only Club
by rholou
Summary: A conversation between Aaron and Rhona, set in the current timeline.


So I really hope something like this happens on the show. But just in case it doesn't I had to write it. Let me know what you think.

Aaron was sat at the bar with Robert when Rhona and Paddy walked into The Woolpack. He didn't see them at first but he felt the way the atmosphere changed. Conversation stilled, people shifted uncomfortably. He turned around on his stool curious to see what it was that got everyone's attention to see them standing in the doorway.

Rhona stood staring back at everyone her head held high in defiance, daring anyone to meet her gaze. She looked the very picture of courage and strength but he wondered if anyone else could see the tightness of her jaw, or the way her eyes shone just a little too brightly. If they could see the tension that ran through her as though at any minute she would turn and flee. It was a feeling he recognized, one he knew all too well.

Paddy leaned down and whispered something in her ear that had her nodding and giving him a small grateful smile. They walked through the pub and over to one of the booths, Paddy meeting his eye and giving him a small nod of recognition as they passed. People went back to their conversations, normal business resumed, mostly.

He watched them sit down, saw how gentle Paddy was being with her, how she sank into the booth, back straight, all strength and resilience. Charity took them some drinks over and said something that caused Paddy to frown for a minute and Rhona to avert her eyes. Paddy get up a few minutes later and after a reassuring smile and nod from Rhona he walked over to the door to the toilets. Aaron saw the way the smile dropped from her face the second Paddy's back was turned. He also saw the increasingly agitated looks she shot around the pub and the way she was gripping her drink so tightly he was worried the glass might shatter.

"So I told Nicola no way are we going to do that...Are you even listening to me" Robert broke into his thoughts, sounding a little irritated.

"Sorry" he said to his husband as he got up off his stool. "I'll be right back".

"But what about..." Robert trailed off when Aaron nodded at where Rhona was sitting alone. His expression changed from mild annoyance to one of soft understanding.

"Oh yeah, of course" he said giving his arm a small squeeze as he let him go.

Rhona looked up at him as he stood next to the booth where she was sitting. He couldn't quite read her expression but mixed in with everything else there was definitely relief.

"May I?" Aaron asked her pointing at the vacant seat opposite her and she nodded, giving him permission to join her.

"So" he began, suddenly aware that he wasn't sure what to say, words had never been his strong suit. "How are you?" he finished lamely.

"You heard then?" she gave him a small sad smile.

"Yeah kind of hard not too". Even with everything that was going on with him and Robert at the minute, and the train wreck that this stupid feud with Ross had turned into he still heard about what had happened to Rhona. What Pierce had done to her.

It had been Pearl who had told him. She sought him out at the scrap yard. Said there was something he needed to know and that she didn't want him hearing it form some gossiping old lady. She didn't seem to see the irony in that statement at all. Pearl had told him then, with quiet words and concerned looks. She had said she knew how upsetting this must be for him to hear, considering how close he was to Rhona but also because of what had happened to him. He had been oddly grateful for her concern and glad that he hadn't found out by overhearing some misinformed gossip in the cafe. Still he hadn't known what to do with the information, wasn't sure what he should do, if he should help. It was strange being on the other side of it. It gave him a small insight into how the people around him must feel sometimes.

"Is this what it felt like when people found out what happened to you?" she asked then looking around the pub and indicating the people who were watching them and trying hard not to seem like they were.

"Kind of" he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Oh no, I didn't mean that..." she looked stricken. "I know that what happened to me is nothing compared to what happened to you".

"Stop" he said reaching out his hand and taking hers in his. It wasn't like him but he felt the need to touch her, to offer reassurance. "Don't do that, don't dismiss it. It's not a competition" he gave her a small smile so she knew he meant well.

"But it's not the same, what Gordon did..." he flinched at the name, even after all this time the sound of it still got to him. "How he hurt you was awful".

"You loved Pierce didn't you?" he asked her then and felt bad at the way she flinched like he did just a moment before. But he carried on, he wanted to make her understand.

"When he hurt you, you felt betrayed, couldn't understand how someone you love could do that to you?" she nodded, tears in her eyes now.

"And you wondered what it is about you that made him hurt you like that" she gave a little choked sob at that and he knew he had struck her nerve. That he was saying out loud all the fears that had been inside her mind.

"Because he's a nice guy, everyone says so and he's good to everyone else. So what is it about you that's different, makes him acts differently around you? Made him do something so terrible, so out of character". His own eyes were wet with tears now as he exposed his own doubts and fears in hopes of helping her with hers. Things he'd never told anyone outside of his therapist's office or the safe arms of his husband. The latter usually in the middle of the night when nightmares woke him, when the insecurities and doubts that plagued his thoughts seemed closer to the surface.

"Yes" she breathed the word out and gripped his hand tighter.

"You just want him to say sorry, to admit that he was wrong" his father never had, had never even said out loud that it had happened. He had made him doubt his own memories, his own sanity.

"And the worst thing about it is that despite everything, even though he hurt you so badly, part of you still loves him" she gave a gasp at that.

"Oh God you're right" she said, tears streaming down her face now. "What does that say about me?" she asked him, pleading with him for an answer, like she thought he had one. He only wished he did. "I hate him, but still. How can I love someone who could do that to me?".

"I don't know, I guess maybe that we're human. We're not monsters like them. I wish I could turn that part off but you can't help the way you feel. I hate my dad so much, for everything he did to me, for everything he took from me but I can't help loving the father he once was as well. I think there was a time he loved me too. But I hate him for taking that and twisting it, for using it against me" he shrugged then, his words running out, unable to explain something that he still couldn't really understand himself.

"I'm sorry" she said reaching out and wiping away the tears that were running down his own face, matching hers.

"What are you apologizing to me for?" he scowled at her, but didn't pull away.

"Because I don't think I really understood before, just how much you'd been hurt".

"And now you do" it wasn't a question.

"Yes now I do" she agreed. It broke his heart a little to know that, it was like they were members of an exclusive club, one that no one would ever want to join. But it meant they knew something about each other now, a shared experience, something that only they would ever really understand. He felt a connection to her that he never had before.

"Is everything okay?" Paddy's voice came from beside them, making them both jump. He'd forgotten where they were, that they were in a public place, on full view of everyone as they shared some of their pain with each other.

He quickly wiped away the tears on his face with the sleeve of his jumper, before looking up at the person he wished had been his father from the beginning.

"Yeah, we just..." he cleared his throat, a little hoarse with emotion, as he did he saw Robert over Paddy's shoulder watching him with concern. "I just wanted to check on Rhona".

"Well thanks" Paddy patted him on the shoulder and before he realized what he was doing he had stood up and was hugging his oldest friend and the first person he'd learnt to fully trust.

Paddy cupped the back of his head and hugged him back with his other arm.

"No, thank you" Aaron said into his shoulder. He might not have been there for him as much as they both would have liked when all that stuff had happened last year but it was Paddy that had showed him what real love looked like, that had changed his path in life by believing in him.

He pulled back from him self consciously then, aware of other eyes watching him. He hated public displays of emotion, hated looking weak in front of people.

"I'll leave you to it" he said pretending not to notice that Paddy's eyes were wet too now. He moved out of the way so Paddy could sit back down.

"Thank you Aaron, for understanding" Rhona said to him, taking the hand that Paddy offered to her and wiping at her own tears with a tissue that he seemed to have pulled out of then air.

"You're welcome, and if you ever need to talk" he ignored the look Paddy shot at him, he knew how odd it was that he, Aaron Dingle, the master of not talking about stuff, was saying that. But then a lot had changed since last year, not least of all him. "Well you know where I am" he finished.

"I do, and you know the same works in reverse. If you ever need someone..." he gave her a tight lipped smile in response.

"Thanks, I'll remember that" and he would, maybe it would good for both of them, this exclusive little club of theirs.

He left them to it then, knowing he was leaving Rhona in good hands, the best. She had a hard road ahead of her but at least she wasn't going to going through it alone. She had a lot of support and he was pleased that he could play a small part in that.

He walked over and sat back down next to Robert. Charity put a new pint down in front of him. her hand resting on his and giving it a small squeeze before walking away to serve someone else.

"You okay?" Robert asked him, the concern in his eyes making them soft like they only ever were for him.

Things might be difficult for them at the minute, he wasn't sure what the next few months were going to bring. He was certain there relationship was probably going to be tested to the limits. But the one thing he was sure of was how much he loved Robert and how much he was loved in return, and that was all that really mattered.

"Yeah I'm good" he said giving him that small smile that he always did when he had so many things going on his head. When the sadness he felt was huge but not quite overwhelming.

"Come here" Robert said and pulled him into his side. He kissed his cheek, just a little gesture of affection that felt like home and Aaron's smile got a little wider.


End file.
